Well...it has been too long

hmmmmm...where do I start. It has been quite a while since I have blogged. Today I am going to make it short, sweet, and to the point.

A few updates...
I am no longer working at Mid State Motors after 4 wonderful years. I left there in December and it was really just time for me to "move my cheese". Now I am a floor manager at a Automax, and am liking it very much...well I was...just recently I found out that I am pregnant! For some reason because of that selling cars just doesn't seem that important to me...making money does, but i really just don't care. There, I said it, the words I have been trying to avoid now for over a month. It is hot, people are asses, and my boss is a jerk. I have aspired for a year or more now to be a stay at home mom, or even a work from home mom..and I am going to start working on that goal as soon as possible. The weird thing is , with Zak, I was the same way...I just stopped caring about selling car...I remember even saying at one point that I never want to sell cars ever again and that I HATE it..which are pretty strong words coming from me seeing that I have been so passionate about it for so long...but there is no passion like I get from being with my little man.

Zak is getting so big. He will be two in August which just seems crazy because I keep thinking "where did time go?" it just flewwwwwwww by. For his birthday we are going to get him a Lightning McQueen bed..a big boy bed. He will love that to death. I think for the theme for his party, though, we are going to go with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse...he loves that show...and so do I..tee hee. He is so smart..he always pretty much knows what I am talking about even though he doesn't talk back. He tries and knows some words, but doesn't "talk"..I figure he will soon enough and probably wont shut up.

Trent is doing good...somewhat. I think he has been going through some tough times lately and has even mentioned to me a few times that he is depressed. We have been through hell and back over the past few months so his way of thinking is understandable. I just wish that I could do something to help. I have been trying to keep up on little things that make his day easier and make his happy like always making sure he has clean, pressed work shirts and shorts, i detailed his car the other day, making his favorite dinner, no nagging about him playing video games or coming to bed too late, paying the bills...and just little stuff here and there...it just seems to make things flow a little better.

Me, I am doing good too. We moved and am now living in a nice little neighborhood. I love my little house, and am happy. My first thoughts when I found out that i was pregnant was "what? are we ready for this? can we afford this? am i going to lose my job?"..along with a million others. I have came to terms and am now pretty excited. I just wish it didn't take such a long time and make you fat...I know...that sounds horribly conceited but i have worked so hard just to get down to where i am now...i don't ever want to be as big as i got with Zakery again..so I am keeping a close eye on all that situation. I dont care of it is a boy or a gorl, all I am praying for is a healthy baby and a easy pregnancy. Is that too much to ask? :)

well..when i said that i was going to make it short and sweet, i meant it *wink wink*. lol

The Bet

As I have blogged about before..I am constantly stuggling with my weight. I was nice and thin before getting pregnant and now I just cant seem to get this weight off..at a good pace. Well..my friend/co-worker decided to ligt a little flame under my @ss....he proposed a bet.
Yesterday morning while sitting in my office, drinking my coffee, out of nowhere, Richard came in my office and said "I have a bet for you." Always intrigued by money I asked what the bet was all about. He told me that some years back he and a friend made a bet about who would lose the most weight in a week for $300!! He said that he won because he old ate apples for a week...that little stinker. I asked him what we were betting...he said "We're going to bet on who can lose the most weight..I think that will help ME and YOU..but I have a disadvantage because of the meds i am taking because they make me gain weight." Then he went on to tell me to come up with the terms of the bet and that he will go along with it. Thats my stinker!!

I know that this will help me to get moving and dropping some major pounds..I am very very money driven. I tried to get him to go by % of weight lost because he has a lot more weight to lose than I do, but being the old dog he is wasn't very interested...dern it! Not wanting to miss out on some extra cash I proposed the "rules" I came up with to him.
1. The bet will begin on Dec. 1 and end Jan. 1st
2. We will weigh in together at 9am on 12/1/2008.
3. We will weigh in together at 9am on 1/1/2009 (same scale) to determine the winner and award will be given at that time.
4. We will be going soley by pounds lost
5. Winner get $100!!

So...needless to say I am very excited. I think this is exactly what I need...and Richard needs it to. He is one of my favorite people in the world!! I will keep this post updated with how my progress is coming along!! Wish me Luck!!
Here we are..crazy picture of him, me and my other friend, Shannon :)

My Zakery

I was always that girl that said "yeah..I like babies as long as I can give them back to their parents." I did plan on having kids...some day...just didn't plan on having one when I was 22. When Trent and I found out that we were pregnant, we both felt all kinds of emotions. At first, I remember thinking, "Is this for real? Am I ready for this?" ...the fact of the matter was whether we were ready or not, we were going to be parents. After we finally came to terms with that, we started telling people. We didn't allow them to have any other reaction except happiness because we were happy.
I was not a good pregnant person. I didn't like being fat and tired all the time. I was robbed of trowing up, all I ever did was dry heave, sometime for an hour or so. I had terrible terrible acid reflux too. No specific craving that I can remember, but when I did crave something I wanted it and needed it RIGHT NOW! Even though I don't miss being pregnant, I really really love what you get out of it...a sweet little baby.
Zakery Taylor Murphy...boy, born August 28, 2007 , 8lbs 4oz and just so precious. I came up with the name and Trent went along with it with little resistance. At first we thought we were going to name him with a "T" name because that is what his mother wanted. She has a Trent and a Trevor...her BFF has a Teyha, Tyler, and Timothy...so she said that I had to name our baby with a name that starts with "T". Not good to tell a hormonal, pregnant lady that she HAS to do something that she really doesn't HAVE to do. After looking through all the "T" names in baby books and not really seeing my baby as any of them, I came up with Zachary for a boy and Zoe for a girl..Ive always loved that name since Saved By the Bell. I told Trent and of course he said "That is not a "T" name." I told him that his middle name would be Taylor and if his mother wanted to call him that, she could. He still didn't got with it because he was worried about what his mother thought. Since I knew that the baby was a boy from the beginning (there hasn't been a "born" girl Murphy since the 30's) I just kept calling him Zachary..and it caught on. Trent still felt kind of left out so I let him choose the spelling...and that is where we got Zakery.
Well..it was the night before my due date and I was MORE THAN READY to have that baby out of me. We decided to go and get some wings (of course following the spicy food wise tail) hoping it would send me into labor. The next morning, Trent's birthday the 26th, I woke up having contractions. I laid there in bed and didnt say anything for a while because I wanted to make sure it wasn't all in my head. I woke Trent up and said "I think were going to have a baby today, the wings worked." Of course he got all excited because he thought he was getting a baby for his birthday. I waited all day and let the contractions get closer and closer together. We finally went to the hospital because they were coming quite close together and I was in PAIN! We went to the e-room around 6pm...I called my mother and she came up too. When the nurse checked me she said "You are not in labor, you're only 1-2 centimeters dilated, this can go on for two weeks..rarely anyone has their first baby on their due date." Then they gave me this tiny little pill that hit me instantly and made me feel drunk, I wish I had those the whole pregnancy. I was able to go home and sleep for 30 minutes after that and the contractions came back. I waited and waited because I didn't want another false alarm. At 1AM on the 27Th(mt due date), I couldn't take it anymore. The contractions were killing me...so we went back. The lady came in and checked me and said,"We can not admit you because you are only 3 centimeters dilated." I could not believe this..I knew that baby was coming..and no one would listen! Then, the gave me a shot in my butt which totally stopped everything. The next morning I had an appointment with my regular Dr. . I told her about all the mishaps the day before and so she checked me again. She looked up at me and said "Ashley, I am surprised you are not in labor right now, you are 4 centimeters dilated, I am scheduling an induction in the morning, but I doubt you'll make it through the night." It was a full moon that night, I remember, there were lots of babies that night. Sure enough..this time I knew for sure, I went into full blown labor at 8pm that evening. Went to the hospital and THANK GOD was finally admitted. They gave me my epidural and that took all the pain away and stopped the labor a little. At 8AM the next morning I started feeling some major major pressure. I told my nurse and she said "Good, then lets start pushing." During my pushing I remember the nurse saying,"He has a FULL head of hair." then Trent said, "What color is it?" She said, "IT'S BLACK!" Trent said "That's not my baby". See, the whole time he and I had no doubt that we would have a white haired baby because his hair it still white and mine was white when I was born...but noooo...we had a black headed baby. So, I pushed and pushed for 2 hours and 20 minutes and came out a sweet, perfect, little baby boy. THE HARDEST THING IVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE!! He had a HUGE head and a distinct little nose.
He and I were both running a really high fever. I couldn't talk, or do anything..while they were stitching me they thought that I had fallen asleep, but I was just so beat I couldn't respond to anything.
I had decided to breastfeed...Zak didn't care for that too much. He wouldn't latch so they gave me this nipple guard thingy..he loved it and used it the whole time I breastfed. One time I was trying to feed him and he fell asleep so I laied him down and did his hair for pictures to show future girlfriends. I couldn't believe that we had made something/someone so beautiful. After only being is the hospital 2 days they let us take our new addition home, I couldn't believe that. We were scared to death but I think adapted very well to being new parent, not to mention we had tons of support from friends family.
Zakery started to develop really fast. Holding his bottle at 3 months, sitting up at 5, and pulling up at 6months. In his 8Th month he was pulling up on a table and sure enough busted one of his new teeth out of his head on the bottom. When I took him to the Dr. he said "He will be fine,it will grow back when he's 7years old." WHAT? Now I have a super cute kid with a jacked up grill..Just kidding..I think its character and makes his precious smile even better. After he started grown up his black hair fell out and came in beautiful golden lucks. Shortly after he turned 1 I gave him his first hair cut!
Now he is 14 months old and walking all over the place. He is constantly getting hurt but usually bounces back quickly. He says all kinds of words such as Momma, Dadda, Cat, Kitty cat, stick, ball(his and his daddy's favorite), I see you, I get you, and my LEAST favorite is that is shakes his head no...I didn't know they learn that at such a young age. He is my little blessing from God. If asked if I will ever have another one now, I say, If he is anything like my little Zakery, I certainly will. Here we are now!

For Crying Out Loud

It is all getting so serious now. I just heard my husband cry for the first time on the phone. My rock, my strength. We have a dark cloud over us and I sense that it is about to start pouring, flooding all over the place. The other day I was freaking out about some finances, I called Trent and he said "Don't worry, everything will be OK." That made me feel so much better and confident. Today, to hear him cry just makes my heart shatter. It says in the Bible that God will never give you more than you can handle, I don't know if I can handle anymore. I need a solution, and I need it fast. How did it get this bad? Why did it get this bad? What are they going to think and say about us? These are all the questions going through my mind.
Dear God! Please help my family get out of this situation. You are a wonderful, almighty, loving God. Help us through these hard times, Father. I know that you have a plan for everyone, and that is why I am putting it all in your hands now. Lead me into the right direction so that I can do what is right for you. Please bless the other families out there going through the same thing, Father, because I know I am not alone. Thank you for your many blessings! Amen.

The pictures that haunt me...

...Instead if inspire me. I was cleaning and throwing out some crap yesterday and came across some pictures from when I was skinny. See, I was robbed of my skinniness, and I didn't even get to have it for long. I have terrible terrible genetics and have always had problems with my weight.
All my life I have always been a little "chubby"..not the real FAT girl in the class, but always the one with "meat on my bones"...it sucked. I had a boyfriend, a cute one too, all through HS from freshman to senior year. As we dated I gained weight. When I started to drift away from him towards the end of my senior year I started losing more weight than I ever lost. I got up to, while I was dating him, 185, and while I was with him, towards the end, got down to 150...then 145..then I dumped him and got all the way down to 125-130 by doing Atkins..my "happy" weight. I'd never weighed that before as a grown person and what I think is crazy, is then, I still thought I was FAT! I look back at pictures now and wish that is what I looked like. Here are some examples of what I looked like...not to mention this is what I first looked like when Trent and I got together...Trent took the picture of me in the pink.


I wish I had the picture on my computer that I seen yesterday. I found one where I have my shirt tied up to show my midriff...and I am not a "midriff showing" kind of girl..even when I was skinny, and I looked so damn good in the picture. When I look at it now it makes me sad because I think in my head that my tummy will never look that good again. It is so stretched out now, I am only losing a pound or two every two weeks. Lately, I just feel robbed of my body and my sexiness. I feel like Trent is repulsed my the sight of me naked because I am. Lately, he has been making remarks about everything that goes in my mouth. He use to be so proud of me because I was HOT in his eyes and I think Ive lost that. While I was pregnant my weight got all the way up to 221lbs...I started at 165(I had put on some weight from quiting smoking. Now I am 172 and it has felt like such a lonnnngggg journey to get there. I am doing activities to further my weight loss like Weight Watchers, working out, and eating less...still very slowwwww results. This is me nowAll I want is to be one of those people who are happy with what they look like no matter what. I do thank FAB and all the mommas in it because they give me a lot of confidence through their kind words. That is all the rambling I am going to do for today. one day...one day...

About this blogger..follow the leaders...

OK...so..now I am officially a blogger...which I thought I was already because I had a myspace. After reading a few of my dear FAB moms blogs, I realized that is not what blogging is at all. It is pretty much a public journal, and I think that is pretty damn cool that way you aren't the only one in your head...now you can include others..he he.
For my first blog I will just ramble about myself. My name is Ashley and I am 23 years old. I will be 24 on November 6Th, 2008...PROUD TO BE A SCORPIO! My husbands name is Trent. He just turned 24 in August. He and I have been together since April 2, 2004 and married since March 31st, 2008. We were preggers when we tied the knot..,sometimes I wonder if we would have gotten married there wasn't a baby involved. We would have just lived together forever. I have one baby..he just turned 1yr old on August 28Th, 2008. He is a Virgo..both my boys are but Trent is on the cusp Virgo/Leo. Zak is such a blessing. I cant even BEGIN to imagine what my life would be like without him. He is getting big now, just started walking, eating hot dogs, climbing, and I am sure before I know it he will be running and riding bikes. It has just seemed to go by so fast. There is nothing I wont do for him. He is BY FAR the love of my life...Zakery.
I work full time currently selling cars at an independent dealership out of Ocala, Florida. Ive been there for going on 4 years..5 years selling cars, though. I use to LOVE IT...now I am just OK with it. I am currently trying to figure out how to be a SAHM with a lot of debt to pay. I didn't plan on having children at my age and if things would have went to plan I would be working at home today...watching my little man, but that is where LIFE comes in and take you down a different route. Ive registered for spring term at a community college here for Cosmetology. What a switch up, huh? Ive always been interested in it, I can do it fast, the moneys isn't bad, and there are usually good hours...only time will tell. Currently Mid State, I have the title of "Sales Manager" but it is just two of us..so who do I manage? myself? Who knows what is going to happen, anyways, with this tricky economy.
That is the basics and I would think pretty good to get me started. I am looking forward to sharing, as well as, reading ya'lls posts!!